If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize