I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
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