officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
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