Kiss
Puke
One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Randomize
