kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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