Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
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