Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
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