She said her name was "party"
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Randomize
