i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Randomize
