I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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