o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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