I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
so much tequila, so little girl.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Randomize
