so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
