That's when you crack a 10am beer
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
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