I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
she told me i tasted like america
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
