Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Randomize
