she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Randomize
