I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
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