it hurts more in the daytime
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
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