My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
so let's talk penis.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Terrible idea I love it
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize