That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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