I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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