is your mom at the bar?
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
