This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Randomize
