dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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