Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Randomize
