I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
Even the bartender felt bad for me
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Randomize
