I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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