Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
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