i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Randomize
