He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
Randomize
