Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
I want to fling myself into the sun
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
I'm both gender and math confused
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
