im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
