she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
he fucked my hip out of place.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Randomize
