eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
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