ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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