She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize