Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
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we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
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