Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
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