Your mouth is God's brothel.
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
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