she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
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