I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
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