Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
