My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Randomize
