Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
I CAN MOONWALK!
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
