Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
