So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
