She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
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