If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
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