everyone is single if you try hard enough
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Randomize
