i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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