It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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