You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
