Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Randomize
