This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
