Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
